8th Sunday in Ordinary Time (The Splinter in Your Own Eye)
Between seminary schoolyears I entered a summer-long immersion program in Mexico to learn Spanish. I lived with a host-family, along with three other students. One was a seminarian and the other two were female college students. Everyone got along fine for quite a while, but at some point, conflict arose between the two ladies—somebody said or did something that the other didn't like, triggering everything else that had ever been problematic in their relationship. As such cases usually go, their problem became everyone else’s problem.
I had the idea that perhaps I could help them work through the problem—that being detached from the conflict, I could bring reason that would give way to understanding and reconciliation. They agreed to talk with me. At some point in our informal ‘session’, in trying to drill-down to the source of the problem, I suggested that in most every conflict, both sides bear some part of the blame, that it's almost never entirely one person’s fault. I asked each of them therefore, in humility, to consider first and foremost, what their own part was. I believed it would help each of them to better see the splinter in their own eye, to have greater compassion for the other.
My attempt to help that situation proved to be the dumbest thing I did that summer. Instead of bringing healing—for reasons I will likely never understand, I became the target for their anger…both of them—for having suggested that they both bore part of the blame. How dare you blame me! Luckily, I only had to live in those passively-hostile conditions for four or five more weeks (or 45,000 highly-unpleasant minutes, depending on how you calculate time).
Today we hear Jesus calling his followers to exercise integrity in their lives: Can someone who is blind—meaning a person who is oblivious or has no vision of self or the world around them—can they begin to help anyone else? The inferred answer is “No”. He continues on the demand for integrity as disciples: “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?…Remove the wooden beam from your eye first…”. This integrity to which Jesus calls us to, demands honest and humble self-reflection—not just in relationship conflicts, but in life, in general.
I recently began a shared spiritual exercise with five other priests, that we believe will help us be stronger in our call as men, but also as priests. In the foreword of our textbook, the author references the 12th century monk and spiritual giant, St. Bernard of Clairvaux. In 1145, one of Bernard's fellow monks had just been elected pope—Pope Eugene III. As pope, his life would come with a whole range of new demands. Bernard gently offered him counsel.
He warned the Pope not to succumb to the relentless busyness of his office, as it would only harden his heart and steal his inner-peace. Bernard suggested that as pope, he would not be able to satisfy the thirsts of those entrusted to his pastoral care if he did not first drink from the waters of his own well. In other words: If, deep within, you are a stranger to yourself, you will remain stranger to all.
I think it's fair to say that too many of us, perhaps most of us, are so caught up in the busyness of life and its demands that we are left unable to even consider trying to drink from the well within. It can leave us with a shallow self-knowledge, and by extension, a shallow engagement of others.
Among the amazing spiritual exercises that St. Ignatius of Loyola developed is one called the Examen. It’s a simple exercise he intended for those of his congregation, the Jesuits, to employ daily for roughly 15 minutes. Its purpose is to provide a simple, but effective way for anyone to begin to better know the complex workings of their heart. And from this, to find greater peace, meaningful direction in life, and to give way to healthier relationships with God and with those God puts in our lives.
If you would like to try it and maybe even incorporate it through the days of Lent, I've made copies which you can pick up on your way out. Hopefully, a daily examen could help us to rise above being either blind or blind guides. Instead, may it help us to remove the splinter in our eye, that we might ultimately see ourselves as God sees us, to see the world, its blessings and its beauty, as God sees them.